Most people hear the words arousal oil and immediately think of one thing: sex. And yes, that's certainly one way to enjoy it.
At Upstate Mary, we've always believed pleasure is bigger than what happens in the bedroom. Pleasure can be a deep breath after a stressful day. Pleasure can be a moment of connection with your body. Pleasure can be a ritual that helps you slow down and actually feel present again.
Our CBD-infused arousal oil was designed to support sensation, circulation, and relaxation. However, some of our favorite ways to use it have nothing to do with sex at all.
Here are five unexpected ways to bring a little more pleasure into your day.
1. Turn Your Evening Routine Into a Sensory Ritual
After a long day of work, parenting, caregiving, or simply being human, many of us go straight from "doing" to collapsing into bed. Instead, try taking two minutes to reconnect with your body.
Apply a small amount of arousal oil to your inner thighs, lower belly, or anywhere that feels good. Notice the sensation. Notice your breath. Notice what happens when you stop rushing.
This isn't about achieving anything. It's about remembering that your body exists for more than productivity.
Why it works:
Gentle touch can help shift the nervous system out of stress mode and into a more relaxed state, creating space for rest, awareness, and connection.
2. Use It During Solo Touch and Self-Exploration
For many women, especially during perimenopause, menopause, or after major life changes, reconnecting with their bodies can feel unfamiliar. Solo touch isn't just about orgasm. It's also about curiosity.
Our arousal oil can help enhance sensation and encourage mindfulness during self-exploration, allowing you to better understand what feels good today; not what felt good ten years ago. Bodies change. Desire changes. You get to change with it.
Why it works:
Arousal oils are designed to increase sensation and awareness, making them a useful tool for exploring pleasure without pressure or expectations.
3. Give (or Receive) a Relaxing Couple's Massage
Not every intimate moment has to lead somewhere. One of our favorite uses for arousal oil is a slow shoulder massage, neck massage, or foot rub with a partner.
Touch is one of the most powerful ways humans connect, yet it's often overlooked when life gets busy. Create a no-agenda massage night. Put your phones away. Light a candle. Take turns giving and receiving.
You may end up having sex. You may not. Either way, you've created intimacy.
Why it works:
Non-sexual touch helps build trust, connection, emotional closeness, and supports a healthy intimate relationship.
4. Incorporate It Into Pelvic Wellness Practices
The pelvic floor does a lot of heavy lifting throughout our lives. Whether you've experienced childbirth, aging, hormonal changes, or simply spend too much time sitting at a desk; intentional awareness of this area can be an important part of overall wellness.
Many women use arousal oil before pelvic floor exercises, relaxation practices, or mindfulness-based body scans to encourage greater comfort and connection.
Why it works:
Touch can increase awareness of areas we often ignore, helping foster a healthier relationship with the body and supporting relaxation.
As always, consult your healthcare provider regarding any specific medical concerns or conditions.
5. Support Gentle Breast Massage and Scar Care Rituals
For breast cancer survivors and others navigating surgical recovery, reconnecting with the body can be an emotional journey.
Many women incorporate gentle breast massage into their self-care practice as a way to nurture body awareness, support tissue mobility, and rebuild a sense of connection after surgery.
The ritual itself can be just as important as the physical benefits. A few intentional minutes spent offering compassion to your body can become a powerful act of healing.
Why it works:
Mindful touch practices can help cultivate body acceptance, awareness, and self-compassion during recovery and beyond.
Always follow your healthcare provider's guidance regarding post-surgical care and scar management.
Pleasure Belongs Everywhere
Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that pleasure was something we earn, something reserved for special occasions, or something that only matters in the context of sex.
We disagree.
Pleasure can be found in a massage, a moment of stillness, a healing ritual, a deep breath, or a few quiet minutes spent reconnecting with yourself.
That's why we created our arousal oil in the first place.
Not just for better sex, but for a better relationship with your body. And that's something worth making time for.
About the Author
Melissa is the co-founder of Upstate Mary, a Hudson Valley-based sexual wellness brand rooted in clean ingredients, sustainability, and plant-based intimacy support. A breast cancer survivor, speaker, and advocate for body acceptance and pleasure at every stage of life, Melissa writes and speaks openly about perimenopause, pelvic health, intimacy, and reclaiming confidence in changing bodies. Upstate Mary and her work has been featured in national publications (i.e. Oprah Daily and Business Insider) and numerous wellness platforms. She is committed to breaking taboos around sexual health, aging, and healing through honest, science-backed education and storytelling.
Melissa Eppard | Co-Founder of Upstate Mary | Hudson Valley, NY
About Upstate Mary
At Upstate Mary, we celebrate the power of plants and the beauty of self-care. Our Farm to Bedroom™ collection is designed to support pleasure and connection at every stage of life, whether you’re navigating menopause, postpartum, or simply exploring your sensuality. Formulated with organic botanicals and full-spectrum CBD, our intimacy oils and suppositories nurture your body without disrupting its natural balance.
Rediscover your pleasure with Upstate Mary.