Finding a New Path After Breast Cancer. “I felt like my body had failed me,” Melissa Eppard described her devastation after discovering a lump the size of a nickel in one of her breasts, a sign that led to learning she had an aggressive form of breast cancer. This was the beginning of her cancer journey, one with multiple surgeries, chemotherapy, and ultimately losing her breasts, hair, and fertility. Melissa was forced to make hard and fast choices, ones that would affect her life for years to come. She decided to get breast implants, a decision she came to based on what she thought her body was supposed to look like.
The implants came at a cost. Melissa experienced strange symptoms, which she thought were long-term side effects of the chemotherapy (brain fog, memory issues, heart palpitations, chronic dry eyes and mouth). She spoke with doctors, asking to be flat and for the implants to be removed. One doctor advised against this, with excuses that she needed the breasts to wear a dress or swimsuit, or that she should just get new implants instead of “explanting,” or removing completely. Melissa persisted. She found a doctor to remove the painful implants, which led her to a new path, flat advocacy. Melissa now coaches and supports others through their cancer journeys, while showing that flat can also be a healthy, happy option if one chooses it.
“As a survivorship coach, I've made it my mission to fill gaps, and be a beacon of light, hope and clarity for others as they find their footing,” Melissa said. Part of her coaching philosophy is about helping women find their sexuality again, during and after a diagnosis. “I met one woman in her early 30s who said ‘I guess I just won’t be sexual anymore.’ This was unacceptable to me,” Melissa explained. As someone who experienced lack of arousal and discomfort herself, she wanted to help others find solutions. That’s where her second new path was born: Upstate Mary.
Melissa (along with her friend Michelle Bergkamp) discovered the super powers of CBD-infused lubricants. They increased blood flow, promoted relaxation, eased pain, and set the mood for intimate moments. But they weren’t satisfied with the options on the market. Many absorbed too quickly, tasted or smelled weird, or didn’t increase moisture like they wanted. So, they created their own and dubbed it Upstate Mary. Each CBD lube is made with all-natural, organic botanicals and full spectrum CBD (for maximum benefits).
Melissa’s diagnosis changed how she saw the world, shifting her focus to help those challenged with cancer, illness, and sexual dysfunction.
“My old life didn't fit the same anymore, and no one could prepare me for the challenges I would face after treatment ended. Scars may fade and hair regrows, but recovering from cancer and learning to manage stress and anxiety was a much longer process,” she said.
During Breast Cancer Awareness Month and beyond, Upstate Mary recommends being vigilant about your health and early cancer detection. Here are four things you can do today.
1. Know the potential symptoms:
- New lump in the breast or underarm
- Swelling of part of the breast
- Irritation or dimpling of breast skin
- Redness or flaky nipple skin
- Nipple discharge
- Any change in breast size or shape
- Pain in any area of the breast
2. Feel it on the first!
Make it a practice to give yourself regular breast exams on the first of each month. You know your body best, and can be the first line of defense for any changes in your breasts.
3. The most important screening to test for breast cancer is a mammogram.
Talk to your doctor about your family history and risk to assess the best time for you to get one. Typically, all women over 40 are recommended to get a mammogram every two years.
4. Be aware of your lifestyle.
Of course, healthy, active people are still able to get cancer, but assess your lifestyle choices to lower your risk. The Mayo Clinic recommends abstaining from alcohol, maintaining a healthy weight, and keeping physically active.
For more about Melissa’s journey and her new path, stay in touch with us on Instagram and follow us here on our blog Between the Sheets.
ABOUT UPSTATE MARY
At Upstate Mary, we're all about the power of plants. Formulated with full-spectrum CBD + MCT coconut oil and a blend of organic botanicals, our products offer soothing and stimulating effects. Like your gut, your vagina has its own microbiome and it can be very sensitive. We use organic botanical ingredients, so no disruptors here!
Our Farm to Bedroom™ collection isn’t just for special occasions, one-night stands or mind-blowing orgasms; although we’re here for all of that! We're committed to being the new go-to for our perimenopausal and menopausal friends too. Our collection of CBD lubes and suppositories can help address a range of needs, from relieving pelvic floor pain to enhancing blood flow + daily lubrication to offering postpartum care. We're here to support every body.