The Orgasm Gap Is Real. Let’s Fix It—Together

The Orgasm Gap Is Real. Let’s Fix It—Together. Here’s the thing no one wants to say out loud: men are climaxing more often than women—and not by a little.
We’re talking about a measurable and persistent difference known as the orgasm gap (or, more cheekily, the pleasure gap).

In heterosexual relationships, study after study shows:

• Men orgasm 90–95% of the time during partnered sex.

• Women? More like 50–65%.
  And in casual hookups, that number drops even lower.

Why the Orgasm Gap Exists

Sex researchers, therapists, and feminists have been sounding the alarm for years: the orgasm gap isn’t about women being “harder to please" or men “being better at finishing.”   It’s about sexual equity—and whether we’ve designed our sexual culture to prioritize everyone’s pleasure equally. It’s about cultural scripts, lack of sexual education, and the way we prioritize male pleasure in heterosexual relationships. 

1. Clitoral Neglect

The clitoris is not just a “button.” It’s an entire pleasure organ with over 10,000 nerve endings—twice as many as the penis—and it extends internally like a wishbone. Yet, most sex ed ignores it, and porn often skips over how most women actually orgasm: direct clitoral stimulation.

Fact: Only about 18% of women can orgasm from penetration alone. The rest require clitoral touch—and often more than a few seconds of it.

2. Outdated Sexual Scripts

We’ve been taught that “sex” starts with kissing, escalates to penetration, and ends with the man’s orgasm. That leaves women’s pleasure as optional or secondary. Compare that to same-sex female couples, where the orgasm gap shrinks or disappears—proof that how we have sex matters.

3. The Silence Factor

If you can’t comfortably say “a little slower” or “don’t stop,” you’re playing an exhausting game of sexual guesswork. Most people want to please their partner—they just need clear directions.

The Science of Closing the Gap

A landmark study involving 3,000 women named four proven techniques that boost orgasm odds. Check out the techniques and why they work:

Practical Tools That Make a Difference

1. Lube Like It’s a Love Language

Dryness isn’t just a menopause thing—stress, hormonal shifts, and even certain meds can affect natural lubrication. Lubricant is not a last resort—it’s a pleasure enhancer. It reduces friction, increases comfort, and makes clitoral and internal stimulation feel better. A CBD-infused lube like FRIDAY Arousal Oil does more: CBD increases blood flow, eases muscle tension, and can help you feel more present.

2. Bring in Pleasure-Positive Toys

Vibrators aren’t “just for when you’re alone.” Studies have found that couples who use toys together report higher satisfaction and more frequent orgasms.

3. Speak the Language of Pleasure

Use the science-backed technique names (angling, rocking, shallowing, pairing) so you can clearly express what you need.
The more precise you are, the more likely you are to get it—and without killing the mood.

Start with small, non-judgmental conversations:

“I love when you touch me this way…”
“Can we try adding a toy next time?”

4. Learn Your Own Body

You can’t guide someone else to your pleasure if you don’t know the map. Solo play helps you understand what works for you, which positions you like, and what gets you from “this feels nice” to “holy wow.”

Why This Matters Beyond the Bedroom

This is about more than better sex (though, yes, you’ll get that too). Sexual satisfaction impacts mental health, relationship quality, and even immune function.
Couples who share orgasms more equitably report greater emotional intimacy, lower stress, and stronger long-term connection.

And for the record—when women orgasm more often, men’s satisfaction tends to go up too. That’s a win-win worth fighting for.

Let’s Rewrite the Script

We can close the orgasm gap.
We can do it with: