Why We Should All Be Talking About Sex. There’s an old saying that you should never talk about politics, religion, money, and sex—it’s impolite and makes people uncomfortable. But as we step into a new year, it’s the perfect time to challenge outdated rules and start conversations that truly matter.
Let’s talk about that last one: sex. Research shows that open communication about intimacy can lead to healthier, happier relationships. No, we’re not suggesting you bring up vibrator preferences at your next family dinner! But fostering honest and judgment-free discussions with your partner can deepen trust, strengthen your bond, and help you both explore what brings you joy.
According to The Journal of Sexual Medicine, studies show that talking about sex improves sex and relationship quality. It can be especially helpful for ensuring that females orgasm more frequently (and ahem, who doesn’t want that?). While the evidence for more talk is compelling, getting the conversation started can be tricky. That’s why we have some tips on what to talk about and why it’s important.
This year, let’s break the taboo and embrace the conversations that build connection and intimacy. After all, shouldn’t the new year be about growth, connection, and pleasure?
Why Talk About Sex?
Aside from building a healthier, more satisfying relationship with your partner, there are countless other benefits to opening up and talking about sex. Whether you’re exploring a connection with someone new or deepening intimacy with a long-term partner, these conversations can be transformative:
- Consent. Consent isn’t just a basic step—it’s the foundation of a positive sexual experience. Openly discussing boundaries, preferences, and comfort levels ensures you’re both on the same page. These conversations create a space where both partners feel respected and empowered to express what they’re ready for, making intimacy safer and more enjoyable.
- Addressing Sexual Health Concerns. When it comes to new partners, discussing sexual health is non-negotiable. Conversations about STDs, birth control, and other health concerns not only protect both partners but also build trust. For those navigating postpartum life or other health transitions, communication becomes even more critical. Sharing how your body feels, what’s changed, and what you need to feel ready again helps re-establish intimacy on your terms.
- Enhancing Satisfaction by Fulfilling Desires. Talking about sex is the key to unlocking a more fulfilling connection. Without open dialogue, it’s nearly impossible to ensure that both partners’ needs, wants, and fantasies are met. Whether it’s experimenting with new things, understanding your partner’s preferences, or simply expressing your own, these conversations lead to better, more exciting sex—and deeper intimacy.
- Reducing Misunderstandings. Miscommunication about sex can lead to frustration or even hurt feelings. Talking openly eliminates guesswork and ensures both partners feel heard and appreciated. Clear conversations about likes, dislikes, and expectations prevent misunderstandings and pave the way for a stronger emotional connection.
- Building Emotional Intimacy. Talking about sex isn’t just about the physical—it’s also about the emotional. Sharing your vulnerabilities, desires, and curiosities fosters trust and strengthens the emotional bond between partners. Over time, these conversations can help you grow closer and create a safe space where both partners feel truly understood.
Whether you’re just starting out or years into a relationship, talking about sex can transform your connection in ways you might not expect. It’s a simple act with profound benefits, paving the way for a healthier, happier, and more intimate relationship.
How to Get Started
Now the more challenging part, getting started. Here are a few tips to kick off your conversation.
- Create your groundwork. Think about your desires before the conversation starts: What gives you pleasure? What do you want to try most? What excites you? Are there things not part of your sexual relationship that you are craving? Have your thoughts written down or prepared to ensure a productive conversation.
- Share content. Is there a sexy podcast, fun quiz, or interesting article that gets your wheels turning about your own sexual relationship? Share it with your partner as a place to get talking.
- Have an open mind. Talking about sex may result in some uncomfortable moments, unexpected desires from your partner, and vulnerable feelings. Put yourself in a judgment-free mindset where you can openly give and take feedback. Frame the conversation to talk about what you like and want to do more of, not your partner’s shortcomings.
- Take it slow. If talking about sex is new to you, start small. Maybe sending a text or having a phone call is a better way for you to start. Be patient with yourself and your partner, as it may be new territory for both of you.
Let’s keep talking about sex. Stay connected to us on social media for more tips and community conversation.
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