Postpartum. Perimenopause. GLP-1 culture. And why feeling hot starts with your own damn terms.
Somewhere along the way, “sexy” got tangled up with “small.”
Thin. Tight. Toned. Effortless.
But real bodies—the ones that carry babies, weather hormones, age, stretch, shift, expand, contract, fall apart a little and come back stronger? Those bodies have always been sexy. We just weren’t taught to see them that way.
At Upstate Mary, we talk to women across every age and stage—postpartum, perimenopausal, newly sober, navigating body changes, rediscovering pleasure after trauma or transition.
And there’s one universal truth:
Your body is still yours. And pleasure is still yours. Even when everything feels like it’s changing.
Let’s unpack the cultural noise—and get you back to feeling powerful, connected, and deliciously alive in the body you have today.
Postpartum Bodies: The Unfiltered Reality (and Why It’s Still Damn Beautiful)
Nobody tells you that postpartum isn’t six weeks.
Or three months.
Or even a year.
Your body carried a human. Your organs literally shifted. Your pelvic floor fought the good fight. You might have scar tissue, prolapse, dryness, pain with penetration, or a libido that wandered off months ago.
And yet—this is a rebirth, too.
A chance to discover your body on new terms.
What helps:
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Repairing your relationship with sensation, not chasing what your body “used to do.”
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CBD-based lubrication or intimacy oils can help calm tissue, relax muscles, and reduce pain (science-backed, not wishful thinking).
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Presence > performance. Postpartum pleasure often starts slow, internal, and mindful.
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Redefining “hot”: strength, softness, survival, stamina, and the ability to grow life? That’s erotic energy.
Perimenopause: The Plot Twist No One Warned You About
You can be 43 and feel like your body has been hijacked by a hormonal prankster.
One day: goddess.
Next day: naps and rage.
Perimenopause hits every woman differently—sleep disturbances, night sweats, lower estrogen level, vaginal dryness, changing metabolism, a shape-shifted body in the mirror.
Here’s the truth:
Perimenopause doesn’t steal your sexiness. It changes the access point.
Pleasure becomes less about urgency and more about intention. Less about looking hot and more about feeling hot. Your confidence becomes a bigger turn-on than your waistline ever was.
What helps:
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Moisture + relaxation: CBD intimacy products can support lubrication, daily vulva hydration (try our Slide Intimacy Oil), reduce inflammation, and help your body respond more easily.
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Sleep support: Better sleep = better libido.
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Strength + softness: A perimenopausal body is powerful, wise, and deeply capable of pleasure with the right tools and mindset.
The GLP-1 Phenomenon: Let’s Talk About It Without Shame
Ozempic, Wegovy, Mounjaro — GLP-1 receptor agonists (RAs) have transformed conversations around weight, metabolism, and body image. But for many people, this shift comes with more than physical changes: it can stir up complicated emotional and sexual terrain.
Some people lose weight easily.
Some lose too fast.
Some lose desire, sensation, or energy.
Some feel pressure to get on medications just to “keep up.”
And some feel grief about their changing body—whether they gain or lose weight.
Here’s what science (and real people) are beginning to say about mood and desire on GLP-1s — and why none of this means you’re broken, or less worthy of pleasure.
Why This Can Be Emotionally Complicated
Putting this research into context helps make sense of why so many people feel conflicted.
Mixed Signals Between Body and Brain.
Your body might be losing weight, which can feel empowering and confidence-boosting.
Meanwhile, your brain’s reward system might be recalibrating, and things that used to feel very pleasurable (sex, food, etc.) might feel “quieter” or less urgent.
Grief Is Real.
Getting smaller doesn’t always feel like a win — especially if desire or joy dips.
There can be sadness or confusion: “Why did I take this so I could feel better … but now I feel less me?”
Pressure to Shrink + Perform.
Culturally, there's enormous pressure to be small, especially for women.
Starting a GLP-1 can feel like buying into that pressure — even if you didn’t mean to.
Then, if desire or energy drops, it can feel like you're paying a steep emotional price.
Your Nervous System Is the Real Pleasure Map.
Pleasure isn’t just about your body shape or hormone levels — it lives in how safe, relaxed, and connected your nervous system feels.
If your brain is reorganizing reward pathways, you might need new strategies to access pleasure.
How to Navigate It (If You’re Feeling This)
If you’re on a GLP-1 (or thinking of starting) and you notice changes in mood, desire, or energy — here are some compassionate, proactive steps:
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Talk to your provider. Share what you’re feeling (or not feeling). Ask whether these changes could be related to your GLP-1 dose, or whether there might be adjustments.
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Track your experience. Keep a journal, note patterns of libido, mood shifts, tiredness, or joy. Sometimes trends emerge that help both you and your doctor.
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Build a pleasure toolkit. Even if things feel flat now, practices like sensual self-touch, mindfulness, breathwork (check out our Breathe necklace), and connection rituals can help retrain your nervous system.
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Explore therapy or coaching. A therapist (especially one versed in sexuality or medical transitions) can help you grieve what’s changed, reclaim parts of your identity, and re-map pleasure.
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Self-compassion matters. Recognize that this is a huge shift — physically, emotionally, neurologically. It’s okay to feel torn, to question, to recalibrate.
The Bottom Line
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No one owes the world a smaller body. Not at 25, postpartum, in perimenopause, or ever.
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GLP-1s aren’t inherently “bad,” but the cultural worship of shrinking can make their emotional and sexual effects feel more painful.
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Desire lives in the nervous system – not just your waistband. If your brain’s reward pathways are shifting, you may need new ways to access safety, connection, and pleasure.
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Your journey to feeling “hot again” can (and should) include your emotions. The map isn’t just about weight loss — it's about what feels good, what feels right, what aligns with you.
So… How Do You Actually Feel Hot Again?
Here are real, science-informed, body-honoring ways to reconnect with your own sensuality—no size changes required:
Reclaim sensation.
Start with your skin. Touch, temperature, texture.
CBD arousal oils and intimacy oils help heighten sensation and reduce pain or tension.
Slow sex down. Way down.
Modern life is fast. Female pleasure isn’t.
Presence is a turn-on.
Rebuild trust with your changing body.
Ask it what it needs.
Rest?
Hydration?
Lubrication?
A toy?
An entire afternoon alone?
Redefine “sexy” the way actual women live it.
Not youth.
Not thinness.
But:
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confidence
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self-compassion
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desire without apology
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joy
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aliveness
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wisdom
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laughter
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softness and strength in the same body
Choose tools that support your biology.
CBD for relaxation.
Suppositories for tension and pelvic floor comfort.
A vibrator for playful energy.
Arousal oil for enhanced blood flow and sensation.
The Bottom Line: Sexy Isn't a Size. It’s a State of Mind.
Your changing body is not a problem.
It’s a story. A map. A home.
And you deserve pleasure—postpartum, perimenopause, on GLP-1 meds, off them, in a bigger body, a smaller body, or the same body you’ve always had.
ABOUT UPSTATE MARY
At Upstate Mary, we celebrate the power of plants and the beauty of self-care. Our Farm to Bedroom™ collection is designed to support pleasure and connection at every stage of life, whether you’re navigating menopause, postpartum, or simply exploring your sensuality. Formulated with organic botanicals and full-spectrum CBD, our intimacy oils and suppositories nurture your body without disrupting its natural balance.
Rediscover your pleasure with Upstate Mary.